My Favourite Quotes from The Colombian

The Colombian has lived in Australia for 6 years. When he first touched down on Australian soil the score was English : 0 - Spanish: 100.

Since that time his English has dramatically improved but there are still times he says things to me and I have to take a step back and "translate". Here are some of my favourite quotes..........

The Colombian: Bayyyybeee why is my ex girlfriend such a dump-arse?
Translation: Ugggh - my ex girlfirend is such a dumb-arse.

The Colombian: No bayyybeeee. I cannot eat that. I just wash my tooth.
Translation: I am afraid I cannot eat that as I have just brushed my teeth.

The Colombian: Bayyyybeee I have a wood chip in my hand. Where are the twitzles?
Translation: I have a splinter. Where are the tweezers?

The Colombian: Baybeeee it is sooo cold. Can you get me my egg-boots?
Translation: I am very cold. Can you please get me my ugg-boots? (Australian woolskin slippers)

The Colombian: Baybeeee when we get married I am worried I will cry a lot. I think I better bring some wankies on the day.
Translation: When we get married I will be emotional so I better bring some hankies (hankerchiefs) with me

The Colombian: Do you get my yeast?
Translation: Do you get my jist?